The importance of remaining positive in times of adversity is without doubt one of the most valuable skills we can develop.
It’s the foundation for most of the key decision-making processes we use, and vital for our physical and mental health.
It can also be one of the most difficult mindsets to absorb into our daily habitual behaviour.
Why do we naturally beat ourselves up because we think things are not going our way?
Why do we use language and negative self-talk to constantly berate ourselves when we feel we are not achieving?
Societal conditioning plays a part in this mindset, the default reaction used by many of us is often downbeat and negative. “I’ll never be rich anyway, what’s the point in trying”, or “I’m just not talented enough to be successful”.
When results are not going our way in our careers, the reaction most of us act out is usually one of despair, we tend to see the absolute worst scenario that could play out, empty wallets, overdrawn bank accounts, eviction, repossessions. The mind paints a picture of failure.
When was the last time you ever had that as part of your reality?
The chances are, it’s a very unlikely prospect, yet a lot of us fear that reality.
Worry is the one of the biggest causes of stress, but what do we actually achieve by worrying?
Why do we as entrepreneurs worry so much about our achievements?
This can be attributed to the goals we set ourselves, which are quite often way out of reach.
Is it healthy to set ourselves up for disappointment?
No news is ever as good or bad as it first seems
That’s what we do as entrepreneurs, setting ourselves challenges that are based on dreams and desires that seem beyond our capabilities at the time of the challenge. And often we succeed. We head towards our destination, as we get closer, the dream or goal becomes more achievable… It’s within reach. It doesn’t seem dreamlike any more.
In the meantime, subconsciously our minds have been telling us, if we can achieve this, we could go even further.
We set higher goals that we would never have imagined we could reach, even by the standards of the first goal that we set.
But that first milestone has been forgotten.
“Did I really believe that was a goal? I’ve nearly achieved it. It wasn’t that far out of reach in the first place.”
So, what actually happens is, we pass the first goal without recognition.
No acknowledgement that we have succeeded, because we are so focused on the next level of achievement that is out on the horizon, also out of reach and a mere fantasy in the moment of now.
Welcome to the gap.
The gap is the place where you feel that you’re never actually getting anywhere because you keep resetting your sights.
Treat yourself to a little recognition, some self-praise and just a little satisfaction with your performance to acknowledge your results.
So how do we put this into practice? Here are a few methods you could consider.
Measuring
Keep a journal.
Describe your goals, describe the reason you want to achieve them, how will it make you feel, what difference will it make to your life and results? Describe your feelings.
Have regular reviews. Re-read your journal.
Remind yourself and thank yourself once you’ve reached it.
Be Positive
If you want to be more positive, the first thing to do is to be more positive.
That may sound daft, but everything we do, or feel is a choice.
Choose to feel positive.
Review
Regularly review your week, your month, your quarter and your year.
Reflection and evaluation may seem like non-productive work and quite often we push it down the priority list.
Don’t Overload
Be careful not to put too much on your workload. This is the easiest way to make yourself feel inadequate.
Don’t expect this to be an instant solution. Old habits are hard to change.
So how does all this actually help us practically?
When the chips are down, you lose a sale, you can’t pay the bills, your car breaks down, your employee doesn’t show up for work again, a job goes wrong, and you have to fix it for free, what is our usual ‘re-action’?
Instantly, your mind accepts that you are going to have to do what it takes to straighten things out. We all know we are not going to walk away from it.
But then, we start complaining about it, beating ourselves up, “it’s never going to work”, “I can’t face this anymore”, “when is my life ever going to start going right” etc. etc. etc.
Then once we’re over all that, we get on with whatever it is we need to do to sort the problem out and get on with the rest of our day.
What was the point in putting ourselves through all that?
Napoleon Hill said: “Every adversity bears the seed of an equivalent or greater opportunity”.
The advantage of having a positive mindset is that instead of wasting time reacting, we begin to look for the opportunities.
So, look for the lesson. How can I prevent it happening again, how have I caused this problem to happen?
There’s a great poem by Rudyard Kipling, “If”, kindly shared with me by Dave Dean when I was going through a ‘dip’ a few years ago, one passage stands out and helped me put my worries into perspective.
“If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
Another great quote, which always helps when receiving bad news:
“No news is ever as good or bad as it first seems”.
It’s important to remember that this improvement to our mindset will always be work in progress too. To suggest that you’ll never experience negative self-talk or adversity ever again would be unrealistic.
The most important work you may ever do is to observe yourself and choose how you would like to respond – not react.
