Why who you allow in your inner circle is so important!
“Show me who you hang with and I will show you who you are”.
That was a powerful quote that I heard the great Tony Robbins discuss with the famous music producer Pitbull on one of his Pod casts the other day…
John Maxwell puts it another way…
You will become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with…
The gravity of these two quotes is not lost on me.
As a parent we are always wary of the peer groups that our children gravitate towards and join when they are in school and in extra circular activities.
These peers can have a lot more sway on our children than we as parents can ever have.
And that is scary.
My mother said that your upbringing is important but it can be totally undone if you end up running with the “wrong crowd”.
When you think about it, surely that’s no different for us as business owners and entrepreneurs.
Who we spend the most time with must have a bearing on the success our businesses enjoy.
How many times have we taken advice from people that are simply just not qualified to have an opinion, well-meaning or not.
That is why your inner circle is so vital to your success.
Who you let in, who you respect, and who’s advice you act on is perhaps one of the most crucial decisions you can make in your personal and business life.
Being an entrepreneur is lonely at times.
We make decisions that make us nervous and threaten our security and put the ones we love the most at risk.
Based on that, who wouldn’t ask for advice or seek out a friendly ear to share the load with.
But all too often the people we seek out have a hidden agenda.
Friends and family, no matter how much they love you and mean well, have a vested interest to maintain the status quo, to keep things just as they are.
How many times have you heard – you can’t do that, or don’t be stupid that’s too risky.
What about – why can’t you just be happy with your lot?
They know who you are and want you to be happy but most importantly they want you to be SAFE.
Unfortunately, the life of an entrepreneur and business owner is far from safe.
In my experience you have to be intentional about who makes up your closest and most intimate group.
At first I found this confusing.
Did I just cut off all the people that I had grown up with and the people that I had become friendly with over the years?
The answer is, no.
But you do have to be guarded about what you ask of them and the well-meaning advice they administer.
In most cases this advice is given freely and whether you want it or not!!
So I still enjoy the company of all my old friends and family.
But I’m equipped with a safety mechanism.
When I feel the impending well-meaning advice of someone who has never run a business, never worked, never employed anyone or never risked anything, my switch just flips into smile, listen and forget mode.
I’m not rude about it, most would never know. It’s not my style or my wish to offend anyone, least of all my friends and family but I just know that their advice is not needed.
Previously, I have listened and then worried about it.
Perhaps they were right!
Perhaps I am stupid.
Then the self-doubt creeps in and you start second guessing yourself.
In the darkness, lying there awake, their words start getting louder and gaining more and more credibility.
Worse still the voice, Mr Negative in your brain, starts telling you they are right and he’s a loud, persistent beggar!
This is what I did to find my inner circle.
I joined a Mastermind Group.
Napoleon Hill, in Think and Grow Rich, said that this is one of the most, if not the most important thing to do in order to be successful.
I’m now lucky enough to spend time each month with 10 other business owners that have no interest in anything else other than my success.
They are not swayed by which school I went to or where I grew up.
They do not want to keep me the same old me.
They are deliberate in their advice and that advice is given freely with one end in mind.
Me being the best I can be.
I’m sure you have heard that if you are the smartest person in the room you are in the wrong room.
I’m not the smartest in that room and I can feel myself growing.
You WILL become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
It’s a fact!
So, in that case make sure you surround yourself with people that walk in your shoes every day, that have achieved great success and are freely willing to help you learn from that success.
Spend time with people that aren’t threatened by your goals and dreams and will help you achieve them and more.
That is why your inner circle is so important and I know that the membership of Renegades and the Faculty is a great place to start finding these people.
